Dreaming Hard..

A perfect winter day for me, is basking in the warm sun with my Strong Coffee,Phone and Wifi.And I'm enjoying my serene environment at the moment.I was planning to read the Cardiovascular system from Davidson's today.Eventually,I ended up reading just a page of the anatomy so far.I guess some days are just too slow and I'd like to accept this fact.

There are lots of things going on in my head right now.And I'm not sure which one exactly is  craving for my attention.This morning,my mom was coaxed at me.And the reason is,me being busy with my phone with my books opened.I kept silent though.I was reading the biography of few well known stars of Hollywood and was feeling pretty amused at their early lives.I noticed a few similarities of their past.All of them were different from their sibblings or their social circles.Some had even extremely hard life because of their odds while the rest had even way of life.The way they presented themselves and used their thought process,was jaw dropping.There were sacrifices, criticisms,hurt,pain,loneliness, abandonment and so much.Yet they carried themselves so strongly and followed their dreams till the success licked their shoes.Ultimately everyone starts to like them and value their same odds.some even copy their styles which ends up as a fashion.I find these social cycles very humorous.

we have numerous examples of such persona.There are people who overcame obstacles and difficult odds to attain significant achievement.
Such idols range from Politics like Nelson Mandela,Mahatma Gandhi,Elizabeth Fry,Rosa parks,Winston Churchill; Scientists like Albert Einstein,Thomas Edison,Stephen Hawking;Musicians like Beethoven,Bob Marley and famous Tv personalities like Gordon Ramsay,Bruce Willis,Anna Nicole smith,Oprah Winfrey,Gary Busey,Martha Steward,Jimmy Fallon and much more.The lists goes on and on.But the key point is that they've all had a very hard and grievous past.But they never stopped dreaming about their passion.Instead,it was a challenge they took it as and accomplished their dreams.

Dreaming,according to me,is the first step towards success.It helps us picturize our goals,the way to achieve it and broadens our vision.A child is the best  dreamer.He's always filled with enthusiasm and curious thoughts about everything.He's thoughts are  untamed by the narrowed-social-vision and fear of social stigma.A young mind if given proper love and encouragement,will conquer over his dreams and be useful to his kind.

एक सोच

एक भाव थियो मनमा,
एक आशा को किरण सोचमा,
रुमलिएर बसेका ती चार भित्ताहरुका माझ मा,
शरीर त होइन आत्माको  वेदना पक्कै...

अकाशबाट झरिरहेका पानी का थोपा,
अनि आँखाले बनाई दिएकी ती झर्ना,
र अन्योल मा परेकी मेरी  मन,
टुलुटुलु ऐना मा हेरि आफुलाई नियलिरहेको यो मेरो अवस्था,

अाफूलाई नै ती गहन प्रस्नहरुको,
व्यंग्यले हानिरहेको थिए एक पछी अर्को गरि,
गल्ती हजार भएका रहेछन जानी नजानी,
तर बितेका कुरा कस्ले बदल्न सक्छ र,
केबल भबिस्य नै रहेछ अब हात मा...

पानी पछीको खुला अकास जस्तै,
अबका मेरा बिचार र मन,
प्रार्थना गर्दै संकल्प लियो यो मनले,
कि म बाट फेरि कहिले नहोस् ती भुलहरु।

Kavita- a painful story

The gravity of the situation held me back from not taking an action.I met her at the local market a week ago.She was selling vegetables and somehow,i went towards her stall despite there were so many of them.I wanted to buy some  veggies for the dinner.As she was weighing some green peas for me,i tried to make a general conversation with her too.

people called her kavita,(name changed) and she was 17years.Almost 5feet 5inches and with her beautifully tanned skin and curvy body,she looked prettier than the average of her kind.There was a dimple on her right cheeck,when she smiled with her magnificiently carved lips.Her bright eyes were shining whilst she was responding to her customers too.The few curled up strands of her hair were hanging on the side of her face,and in her vain effort to keep them behind her shoulder.I took the veggies and handed her Rs.50.Meanwhile,i noticed few recent bruises on her hand when she extended her hand to receive the money.I was reluctant at first,but i boosted up my courage with my self motivation Theory.Hence i blurted out with my questionnaires.She turned pale and anxious,as if she suddenly contronted a ghost.I didn't want to embarass her anymore.So,i asked casually said sorry and left.Just when i reached few stalls ahead,i heard somebody calling Didi* from my behind.I turned around to erase my curiosity.To my astonishment,it was kavita.She was breathing heavily and was looking as if she just ran a marathon.Before i could ask anything,she told me to follow her unnoticeably.I did as told.We ended up in a quiet area with few slums.There was a tea corner.Tea never fails to tempt me.We entered inside the shop and i order 2 cups of tea.She sat opposite to me on a tea table.I still remember her face that day.There were lots of expressions blended on her face like her emotions perhaps.

She finally broke the silence with,"Didi,I wanted to talk to you in private regarding your questions." I said" Go on Kavita,you have my full attention." I wasn't sure what exactly was i doing there but i felt like,she needed me.And i,and only I could help her.She was tightly pressing her both hands and she was staring at one of the corners of the tea table.

It was 4 years back,when she lost her mother to some disease.Her mother had been bed-ridden for years.As an elder child,she had to do the household chores at a very tender age.Her father,a drunkard rickshaw driver,didn't care about them at all.She also had a 6years old brother.The nightfall,always brought terror to the her.Every night,after the demise of her mother,became a curse to her.Her father assaulted her physically and mentally.She would spend the rest of the night crying holding her baby brother.Her father had threatened to kill her and her brother if she would tell about his insane acts to anyone.She sealed her lips then.Sometimes,he would beat her to her unconsciousness.She laid crying with pain for days.This level of cruelty and barbarism continued for years.At the age,when a child is supposed to get love,protection and care from her/his parents,all they got was a very shameful misconduct from their father which has no justification from any moral standards.Tears rolled down my cheeks,when i tried to picturise her situation.Probably,the pain i tried to imagine needed to be multiplied ten times more as to compare how much hardships she must have gone through.One day,escaped from her house with her brother and came to stay at her aunt's place.She is grateful to her aunt,who provided shelter to them at their roughest times.Her aunt cried a lot too on hearing their bitter painful truth.Later,when her father came to get them,her aunt threatened him to charge case against him.That was the last time she saw her father.Her aunt helped her establish a small shop.She is hopeful to extend it soon and be a successful business woman in near future.Her brother goes to school and teaches her too,in the evening.She's happy now with her new life and tries her best not to let her past bother her future.I felt goosebumps throughout my body.I was still in shock.

There were questions in my head circling around.How could a father possibly treat his children that way?Do such people not have their proper functioning brain?What are the children supposed to do if they can't even trust their own father,the one who is regarded as the protector of our family.Its really a shameful and coward act.I didn't want to write this for nothing.I hope that every responsible parent/s tries to protect their children from such human-faced demons.Let truth and justice prevail.So,it is upto us to decide as to what sort of punishment do these demons be given?

"THE MOCKING REALITY"

Recently,there was a movie released produced by Amir Khan named "PK".The movie did pretty well in the box office.As Luck would have it, i had the privilege to watch it 2days back with my little friends.

At the beginning part,i felt it was like any other Bollywood movie when i saw the aliens and the spaceship stuffs.However, i still went with the flow of the movie.There were few comedy scenes causing all of us to burst into laughter.The lord Shiva ji drama scene was the part, that i found the most mirthful.Also, the scene regarding cultural difference in terms of clothing during weddings and death ceremony,was amusing.But,i realized that the theme of the movie had much more to give than this.As from my understanding,i felt that the movie was  mocking at the orthodox taboos of various religions.I really liked it at one part when Pk advises a man to spend time with his sick wife instead of going to some far-off risky Mountain for getting God's blessings to cure his wife! Similarly,the colour of the bridal wedding dress in Hindu culture is Red.It is with the belief that Red colour is Vibrant and filled with energy which adds charm to the bride's look and happiness.On the other hand,White colour dress is worn during the mourning period.But,in the case of Christainity,its just the opposite.The Brides are beautifully dressed in their White Gowns.Here,white colour symbolizes peace and softness.So,this was a wonderful example to illustrate how the cultural practice varies with the varying cultural beliefs and social taboos.Hence forth,Its not really about what is right wrong.Its rather about what culture we are following and with what cultural beliefs we've been brought up.

The pensive soul

They say our Thoughts can travel even faster than the light.And in solitude and serenity,we can listen to them and follow where they lead..so i came up with this today.

Its just feels so wrong sometimes,to present oneself as a Happy-Go-lucky.while, its the contrary deep inside.Reckoning with our feelings and hiding the bitter experiences we've experienced so far, The mystified blueness of  our soul is kept supressed to prevent the social stigma that humans fear of.The heart feels so heavy like its mortified already and the throat having a lump preventing deep breathing.Its the worst feeling ever.Even the melancholy music of Beethoven sounds cheerful than this deep seated sorrow of our soul.Its like ...you're alone in a crowd and no one to talk to.And Slowly and gradually, the walls of our own house appear like they're in mourning.The phantons of our own solitude haunt us day and night.And the nightmares of these very strange feelings scare us,torture our soul to its deathbed.

Despite this, there is a Show-off smiles on faces,faces that aren't the same inside.Its difficult to figure out the root because, the pain and sad experiences have been inflicted a long ago and haunted our being already with the threat of the unknown future.But,as they say,nothing is impossible to a willing and hopeful heart.All it takes is a little bit of courage and hope for the better always,irrespective of the circumstances.And also,faith is oneself.

What Now??

It seems to be a perfect time for me to dig into my writing.A fresh cool winter morning,a mug of black coffee,wonderful gardened-balcony and terrace and the serenity of my mind.I'm not yet sure what I'm about to write nor i've figured out the topic yet.But i hope to be able to do so in my lines ahead.

As a child i was pretty much ambitious and sure that the only thing i would do in my life is to help others,as a doctor.I'm not sure whether the thought was implanted upon me from my seniors or was it my own.Anyways,i seem to be pretty much satisfied with adoption of my all-time-aimbition come true as a reality.But,now i realise that this is not it.This cannot solely define who I am, ofcourse besides my inherited identity.I sense a thirst in myself, a thirst to be something more, someone different, to rise upto a much higher level of conscience,knowledge,power yet down to the earth.I have always pictured myself as an independent young lady and i shall always thrive for that perfection framed in my deepest level of thoughts.Undoubltedly,my current pathway will lead me to becoming a doctor within a few years.There's no question in that.But,I ask myself, what from there? I don't seem to be so fond of working at the hospitals all day, same time, same routine, same place.That could be really monotonous for someone like me.Since my veey early days, I have always wabted to travel around the world,experience the difference,learn more and more.So,my lifelong career as a hospital doctor is still a question.But recently, my cousin sister had a conversation with me regarding life as a medical personnel.And to my astonishment,she handed over me the idea of Mobile-doctors.I really liked the idea as a trevelling-doctors, who are basically a team working at various places,especially at the areas of epidemic and endemics.The thought is so enthralling.Hopefully,i shall also be able to do so in my days ahead.

My First One

                                                                      THE FLASHBACK

Its June again, and the memories of a year back flash right just in front of my eyes. Like,if it was yesterday when it started.he was charismatic and charming young man .like any other girl would have,i too fell towards his gravity for i couldn't resist his attention towards me.

i don't know if i was special enough to be noticed as such in that mass.however,it made me feel different..different than the usual.suddenly the atmosphere of June had changed .the hot climate of June here,seemingly transformed into the sweet spring for me. it was pretty unusual for me for like this place so all of a sudden.but things were happening for real! 

the Me,that i and the people used to know,had changed from a tough, reserved girl into a sweet and vibrant persona.i loved the change in me.deep down,i knew that it was because of his entry into my life...the summer of '13 was so beautiful and filled with love.it wasn't different than in the love poems  as described by the poets with their gracious words. i could see my entire life through his eyes for they always looked tantalizing to me.he would look at me,right into my eyes when we talked.and i would shyly look down..